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So I haven’t done this in a while but I’m in the mood to just vent
Today I saw my best friend since sixth grade, that I haven’t talked to in about five or six months. We made eye contact and then just looked the opposite direction, not saying hi or anything and it breaks my heart. I knew a lot of things would come to an end when we graduate but I never expected to not be friends with her. She was my rock.
I miss my sunshine, too. He was my best friend for the past two years but feelings just ruined everything and now when we talk it’s like we’re strangers. I wish I could be what you want but I can’t. I know we’ll end up together in the future though, it’s just a gut feeling.
During vacation I became so close to this kid. He’s younger than me but we had such a connection and we could talk about anything and everything and I just felt so safe around him. The problem is he has so many things going on in his life that no one should be dealing with, especially at 16, and he’s so close off about it all and it’s so sad, I just want to help him but he barely ever lets me in. I don’t know how to help. And we go days without talking, which I hate. He came into my life at a time that made me rely on him so much and things changed when vacation ended and I just want my friend back.
On a brighter note, I’ve let go of the baggage that’s been holding me down for the past year and a half, which I didn’t think was possible. I lost my best friend, other half, and the boy I thought I loved, but I’m honestly okay with it now. He made me so happy sometimes, but most of the time he was bringing me down, making me feel terrible about myself. I’m gonna miss who I thought he was, but he needs to grow up and I need to focus on myself more, not guys, especially ones that don’t know what they’re doing. Maybe we’ll be right, and one day we’ll accidently run into each other and it’ll finally be the perfect time, but for now, it’s not the time for us to even be friends. I’ll never forget all the times we had, good or bad, but I’m moving on for ME. It’s time for ME to be happy, which is the direction I’m heading in and I like it, so please don’t try to ruin it. It’s not good bye, it’s “see you later.”
And this other kid suddenly became gorgeous and I never noticed before but now that I did I want him and I’m in love okay that’s it bye
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